I don't write posts just about me. This blog was intended to be about my sweet boys and our journey through the life of "special needs". However, I had such a great experience last weekend, that I just have to write about it. And let's be honest, even when I am writing about my kids, it is still about me.
Saturday came and my sweet husband informed me that it was "my day". He had scheduled a massage and blow-out for me at one of my favorite spas. After the most amazing massage and a less amazing blow-out, I came home and got ready for our night out away from the boys.
My mom came over and after finishing getting ready I came downstairs to her feeding Parker his bottle. And then I hear a knock at the door...
We played pool and shuffle board, we went to a dualing piano bar (by far the best place), our guys did Elvis impersonations, we sang, we danced, we ate cupcakes, and we made great memories. It was one of the best days of my life so far (after my wedding and the births of my boys.)
The funny/worst thing about it was that we had this great hotel to go back to. No kids. We could sleep in as long as we wanted to! The blackout curtains are drawn, the bed is comfy, I fall asleep quickly at around 2:00 AM ...only to wake up at 5:45!!!! Then I layed there in bed trying to will myself to fall back asleep. But I couldn't. I. Was. Awake. Getting up and making bottles at 5 AM has been what I have done for the past 2 1/2 years, even on the weekend, so my body says "Get the hell up, Marcy!" - even when I don't have to. Sigh...
So I layed there and replayed the events of the previous day while listening to my husband sleep soundly next to me. And I was happy.
The night was filled with great friends, good food, good drinks, and some very funny moments. There was not one minute when I worried about Parker's therapy, or if he would talk, or how he was eating, or when we would get a wheelchair for him, or how we would find a house that is one-level and accessible to him, or what pre-school/daycare would look like for him. I didn't worry about Brady and finding a good pre-school for him, or if he would grow up resenting the fact that Parker naturally gets more attention. I didn't worry about Ryder and his lack of interest in eating, or the fact that he is the third child and does not have near as many pictures and videos as the twins did when they were babies, or that, God forbid, he also would resent the extra attention Parker gets.
That night, I was not the mom of 3 baby boys, one with cerebral palsy. I was just that lady in the bar turning 40 - and it felt good. It felt good to be 40 (although technically I wasn't yet) and it felt good to be just a lady out partying with some friends. I can't even remember the last time I did that.
This would be my wise advice for parents of children with special needs (now that I am 40, I consider myself wise): Don't forget to nurture YOU. Not you as a mom or dad, but just you. Yes, you are a parent, and if you have a child with special needs, that can be all-consuming. But you have to take care of yourself and remember that you are still an individual. Don't forget about you. Take some time to read, or write, or run. Go out with some friends. Snuggle with your spouse. Walk in the sunshine. Get a massage. Do all of these things. Your sweet kids will still be there (along with all the worries) when you are done.